Being a Woman: Five Days in a Month

Being a woman, biologically, comes with changes that we sometimes wish we could simply pause. There are hormonal changes, menstruation, cramps, fatigue, mood changes, and many other experiences that come with having a menstrual cycle. Yet, despite how common menstruation is, we often move through those days as though nothing has changed.

We still have plans. We still have deadlines. We still have meetings to attend, presentations to give, appointments to keep, colleagues to support, and responsibilities to fulfil. And sometimes we do all of this while our bodies ask us to stop. And sometimes, we do all of this while looking perfectly fine on the outside, smiling for pictures like the ones below, while on the inside, we are exhausted, weak, and simply trying to make it through the day.

When Your Period Meets Your Plans

A lot has been said about period pain, cramps, weakness, and the general discomfort that can accompany menstruation. For some women, the pain is unbearable for a day or more. All you want is your bed, your pillow, a quiet room, and perhaps something warm to drink. Others experience less pain. Some experience almost none.

But even when the pain is manageable, menstruation can still affect your energy, appetite, sleep, concentration, and ability to function as you normally would. Personally, I have noticed how much my energy and well-being can be affected when my period coincides with other physical or emotional disruptions. 

A few days before my period this time, I had just returned to Canberra from London. I was already battling jet lag. Travelling had disrupted my usual routines, including my sleep and eating patterns, and I could feel the effects. Then my period came.

On Sunday, I woke up with incredibly painful cramps. I stayed in bed until mid-afternoon because getting up felt like a task in itself. Eventually, when the pain eased a little, I got up to make some hot water to drink. I had almost no appetite. I simply wanted to lie down. And that was difficult because life, of course, doesn’t pause just because your body needs a break.

When Your Body Needs Rest but Life Needs You

When you are menstruating, your body is going through a physical process that can leave you feeling depleted. If you are already tired, haven’t been eating well, are recovering from travel, or are dealing with emotional stress, those days can feel even harder. In my case, I was dealing with several things at once: jet lag, disrupted routines, changes in food intake, and the physical effects of my period. By Monday, I had campus appointments.

I arrived feeling blurry. I was very weak, but I managed to get through the day because I did not want to disappoint the people I had appointments with. Tuesday and Wednesday were particularly important days.

My colleagues and friends had their confirmation of candidature and final presentations. There were important seminars to attend and HDR candidature matters to deal with. These were not things I wanted to miss simply because I was having a difficult few days physically. So, I showed up. I participated. I did what I could. But my energy was not what it normally is.

Showing Up Does Not Always Mean You Are Fine

Tuesday was probably the clearest reminders of this. All day, I felt tired, sleepy, and weak. I was functioning, but I was functioning with very little energy left. Sometime Wednesday afternoon, I developed a headache. By then, my energy felt like it was at zero. Still, I made it through the day.

Those evenings, I became more intentional about what I ate. I chose food I hoped would help replenish what I had been lacking and give my body the energy it needed. It didn’t magically fix everything, but I felt that being more intentional about food helped me feel better and sleep more comfortably. It reminded me of something simple that we often forget: You cannot always expect your body to give you the same output when you are not giving it the same care.

We Do Not Always Know What People Are Carrying

I am writing this because, except for two people, no one around me really knew how I was feeling during those days. And that is not necessarily because I was hiding it. I was simply doing what many people do. I was showing up.

I also briefly shared my Sunday experience with a friend after she messaged me to say that she could not come to campus because she was experiencing cramps. She was in pain, and I told her about what I had experienced the day before.

It made me think about how many women are quietly navigating similar experiences every month. Someone might walk into a meeting looking tired. Someone might be quieter than usual. Someone might not contribute as much as they normally do. Someone might look perfectly fine while using every ounce of energy they have simply to remain present. We often see the person who showed up. We don’t always see what it took to get there.

Do We Need More Understanding?

Sometimes, people go through pain, sleeplessness, tiredness, headaches, discomfort, and a lack of energy because of their period, and they still try to be present. They still want to be part of things. They still want to support their friends and colleagues. They still want to meet their responsibilities. They still want to be productive. But their energy levels may not be the same. They may not look energetic. They may not sound as enthusiastic. They may take longer to process things. They may need more rest. And that does not necessarily mean they are less committed.

Do women require more understanding these days? Empathy? Integration? Flexibility? I am not sure there is one answer. But I do think it helps to remember that people are not machines. Our bodies change. Our energy changes. Our capacity changes. And sometimes, someone can be giving their best even when their best looks very different from what it looked like last week.

To Every Woman Who Is Going Through Her Period

This article is especially for every woman who continues to navigate her period while managing work, school, family, friendships, travel, deadlines, responsibilities, and life. Be intentional about caring for yourself. Pay attention to what you eat and drink. Give your body the nourishment it needs. Rest when you can. Listen to your body when it tells you that something is different. And, perhaps most importantly, be gentle with yourself.

Those days may not be the same as your other days. Your energy may be lower. Your concentration may be different. Your body may demand more from you while giving you less in return. That is okay. You do not have to feel guilty for needing rest.

You do not have to prove your productivity every single day. And you don’t have to pretend you are fine just because you managed to show up.

There will be other days. Days when you have more energy. Days when you can do more. Days when you can catch up, make up for lost time, and give more of yourself. For now, listen to your body. Eat intentionally. Rest when you can. And be kind to yourself.

By: Huzeima Mahamadu (PhD Candidate, Australian National University)